I

t’s my first day of acting class and I feel like I’m in high school again.  I am prepared and in my best acting class frame of mind!  I have my brand new notebook which I spent several hours lamenting over the cover choice.  Pocket Vs. no pocket?  Lined Vs. blank - journal style Vs. high school notebook style?  I settled on lined paper with a spiral notebook like high school.  It has one pocket in front and one in the back and I chose green with flowers.  Not to hip, not to retro.  I’m working on my vibe - a cool but semi-Goth style without going all black.  I have my water bottle in my purse and an apple just in case I get hungry and can’t find a convenience store.  Although now as I’m sitting here I wish I would have bought a power bar - the apple is taking up a lot of room in my purse and because I got hungry on the ride over and took a few bites, my purse smell like apple.

Now I’m sitting here on a rooftop bench looking around at all the ‘actors’ as they come in and get ready for class.  We had to read a book before we started the class to make sure we understand what the teacher is saying as she will be speaking in acting lingo.  I didn’t even know there was acting lingo besides action and cut.  I see several actors walking in with there book.  Damn!  I left mine at home.  What if there’s a pop quiz and I fail.  I could be kicked out of class before we even start.  What a minute.  I’m paying for this class so they can’t kick me out.  Right?!

I just feel plain stupid now.  All these actors seasoned with being at the class with their books in hand and mine just sitting at home next to my potty.  The pixie girl next to me is leafing thru hers.  It’s highlighted.  I didn’t highlight mine.  No one told me to highlight mine.  I just read the darn thing.  Now I’m starting to panic and I need to get away from highlighter girl.  I move across the roof to a shady area besides two actors that are talking in rather hushed voices.  One is smoking.  I want to ask her for a smoke but I just…I whisper softly - got an extra?  She holds up her finger as they keep talking in hushed tons.  Was that finger to me?  They stop talking and the smoking girl looks at me.  Now I get a good look at her.  She has a snarly mouth with beautiful straight white teeth.  She has a perky nose and gorgeous green cat eyes- they are almost yellow.  From behind her cigarette smoke she turns to me and says in a thick Spanish accent - we are rehearsing do you mind not interrupting us? I’m  MORTIFIED…I just want to leave. MORTIFIED.  I muster out an “I’m sorry”.  Just then doors open and a Rubinesque carrot top woman shouts “Doors are open” and other actors start piling into class.   I wait until several people have gone in including the cat girl and then I quietly make my way to the back of the class.  I sit, pull out my water - then put it away - what if we aren’t allowed water in the class?  I look up and- it’s not just a class.  I am transported into the creative home of artistic expression. I am giddy with excitement.  The seats are bright red and the stage is black - a box of black.  I am looking at my future - A blank slate of infinite possibilities.   I want to write prose and poetry about what I am seeing and feeling but I am not poetic and have no idea what prose means except it’s a word people use for describing Shakespeare’s writings.  So instead I’ll just do a little victory dance in my seat and contain my tears of joy (don’t want to embarrass myself in front of my peers).

O

kay.  Here I am ready to go.  It’s 8 am and I’m sitting out on the balcony of my newly rented apartment.  My very own first place in the whole wide world. I can hardly wait to decorate.  I’m going to  sponge paint the walls, collage the bathroom doors, sand off the railings…I just need to find the home depot.  As soon as my internet connection is up I’ll be on my way.  In the meantime, here I am.  I’ve got my fresh cup of coffee from Starbucks, my favorite mechanical pencil and my journal.  Great.  So this is it.  I’m here. I’m starting MY ACTING CAREER To DO list.

Get famous - this is the most important goal.  I must make sure that no matter what type of acting I do that I become famous.  I have much to say about my feelings on the world and this is the perfect platform to be heard.

To get famous I must

Star in my own television show - so many famous people today came from working on Television.  I mean Hillary Duff, Mylie Cyrus…Katie Holmes.  All from TV.  So this needs to be one of my main focuses.

Okay and cuz the first two are so big deal I need a reward goal.  One that will help me make my way towards the other goals and be increasingly satisfying as well.

Meet and work with Angelina Jolie -I know that her and Mr. Pitt are running around all over the world (luv it) and that she is very busy as a mom of 6 but I must find a way to meet and work with her.  She is my idol and hero.  So tough and so feminine and soft at the same time.  -and no, I’m not a carpet “bagger” - I just thinks she’s awesome.

Well the list is done.  I’ve got my goals.  That was much easier than I thought it would be.  Let’s see - now what.  I need to find the grocery store, get some gas for my car and oh - I should probably take an acting class.  I haven’t done that since I graduated college and I could use a refresher course.  Where should I start looking for one of those.  I saw a sign hanging up at the coffee shop for acting classes.  It was one of those posters that has the numbers on the side that you rip off.  There were still some left.  I’ll go down as soon as I finish my cup (and get a free refill) grab that paper (hope it’s still there) and give it a call.  Look at me - I’m an actress in LA.

LATER - 10 PM

Had a successful early afternoon at the local coffee house.  Amazing how many industry types hang out here.  I’ve already made several contacts to start my acting career.  I met Jon a upcoming screenplay writer.  He’s had several of his screenplays optioned and he’s started working on an action-adventure comedy that he thinks I’d be great for the lead.  Says it’s an updated version of “Romancing The Stone” with Kathleen Turner.  I’m going to imdb.com/facebook/youtube and check out her stuff to see if we have any friends in common and of course to get a feel for who she is.  Add that to my to-do list.  Then I met Kenny.  He seems rather nice.  He just graduated from AU  and moved out here last year to be a musician.  Turns out he lives in my building and he works at the coffee house.  He says he likes the job cuz it pays for his medical benefits.  Anyway, I found some acting classes online and I want to call and go check them out….talk later!

‘m tingling from head to toe.
I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. My heart is beating - beating so hard into my throat that I can’t speak.
Beating desperately that I start to panic as I begin to feel the airway getting tighter and tighter. Spasms starts in my lips, beads of sweat explode under my nose, my hand comes up to my throat fingers in my mouth - I must get air, I must scream.

SUNSET BOULEVARD RIGHT LANE.

I’m here. I’ve made it to Los Angeles. I’ve finally arrived.

All my years of dreaming, wanting, praying, hoping, saving are here. This is it. Look out Hollywood in just one more mile I will be “the force to be reckon with” in this town. Megan Fox, Olivia Wilde- move over cause Leanne Davenport has arrived.

Well - almost arrived. I’ve been sitting on this 405 freeway south bound staring at the SUNSET BLVD RIGHT LANE sign for nearly 20 minutes When is that police officer going to finish writing me my ticket? So I can get on my way. I mean come on… How was I supposed to know that “photo texting” while operating a motor vehicle was illegal? I’ve never been stuck in traffic like this for so darn long. It’s not like I was actually moving - or driving for that matter. All I’ve been doing is sitting on this concrete trail to my Hollywood stardom for nearly an hour. I mean what else was I supposed to do with my time! We never have this kind of wall to wall of car traffic at 2 pm in Michigan. Besides I just wanted my parents to see that I had arrived. I had made it here safely. I was being a responsible daughter. That cop has no idea how good of a daughter, I am. How I drove here all on my own - came out to LA to pursue my dreams. He has no idea that he is giving the next Angelina Jolie a ticket. That someday soon I will be surrounded by millions of people from all over the world and will speak out against (whatever the famous cause of the time is) and have just finish carrying quintuplets. I will make my mark!

I have arrived—almost.